Fearless
by thatsformetoknow
Summary: The five times Phil was scared on dates with Dan and the one time he was fearless.
1\. The First Time Phil Met Dan

. . .

Butterflies had been twisting and turning and fluttering around inside of Phil's stomach since the moment his eyes had sprung open at the first light in the early hours of the morning.

Waiting at the station for Dan to arrive had been agony, and even texts with the younger boy hadn't calmed his nerves.

Phil had seen Dan before Dan had seen Phil; he had watched with a wide grin on his face as Dan looked around for Phil.

Phil had run up to him, enveloping the surprised smaller boy in his arms in a tight hug.

They had been out together in Manchester, laughing and talking and it had been easy. Phil had felt elated.

Dan had been a little shy at first, but they had soon eased into their regular conversations that they would have over Skype, but God, it was better having Dan here in person.

Phil had felt his heart beating in his chest, and had felt it quicken when Dan smiled and if he hadn't known before, he sure as hell did now.

He was head over heels for the boy.

They sat at a table in a fancy restaurant, far too fancy for the two of them but Phil wanted to make it special (he had also promised that they could order pizza the following night).

Phil stumbled on his words a fair few times and the few silences that there were had verged on being (but not quite) awkward and Phil couldn't help but marvel at Dan's beauty.

And how Dan was finally here.

Finally.

And honestly, Phil was a little terrified.

He shouldn't have been, of course, Dan practically worshiped Phil but he supposed there was always that lingering fear that he would disappoint Dan - that he wasn't and couldn't be everything that Dan had made him out to be.

. . .

2\. When Phil Asked Dan To Be His Boyfriend

. . .

Phil wasn't the best cook, that was a fact he'd readily admit, but tonight was important.

It was Dan's last night staying with Phil and they had had the best time, and Phil was devastated that his best friend had to return home.

Part of him didn't want to risk ruining it.

But he was sure that Dan felt the same way.

He had to. Didn't he?

Phil was flushed, his palms were sweaty and he was convinced that the spaghetti was burning (could you even burn spaghetti?).

The kitchen window was open and Phil was hanging his head out of it, taking in deep breaths of what was supposed to be fresh air.

'You alright?' Dan asked, sauntering into the kitchen, obviously having stopped playing Crash Bandicoot.

'Hm?' Phil squeaked, turning around. 'I'm fine, just a little hot is all.'

Dan winked.

Phil glared.

'Shut up.'

'I didn't say anything!' Dan grinned.

'Let me make my pasta in piece!' Phil laughed, ushering Dan out of the kitchen, then tugging on the neckline of his shirt.

It'd be fine, (right?).

Finishing the un-burnt pasta and serving it up, they sat at the table with an anime on the television when Phil finally broke the silence.

'Dan?' His breathing quickened.

'Yeah? Food's delicious by the way.'

Phil smiled. 'Thanks. I wanted to ask you something actually…'

'What is it?'

This was it. No turning back now. He could practically feel his whole body on fire as a blush crept up his neck.

'I was wondering if, erm, you'd maybe like to be my boyfriend?' He squeezed his eyes shut, not wanting to see Dan's reaction.

'Of course, you spork.' Dan laughed.

'Really?'

Dan nodded, biting his lip. 'So, is this a date?' He added bravely.

Phil thought for a moment. 'Yes.'

'Wow, home cooked food on the first date, this one's a keeper!'

'Shut up!' Phil laughed.

. . .

3\. When Phil Met Dan's Parents

. . .

Phil stood outside of Dan's house for at least four minutes before he finally worked up the courage to knock.

He thought back to his phone call with Dan whilst he had been on the train and bit down on his lip.

('Are you worried?' 'Terrified.' 'Don't be.' 'What if they don't like me?' 'They'll love you.' 'Are you sure?' 'How could they not?' 'Very easily!' 'I promise they'll love you.')

Dan's mother opened the door, and immediately brought Phil in for a tight hug.

'It's so lovely to finally meet you, Phil, Dan's told us all about you!' She exclaimed.

Phil laughed nervously. 'None of its true, I promise.'

Mrs Howell laughed. 'All good things, don't you worry.'

Dan practically flew down the stairs and wrapped his arms around Phil as he kissed his cheek.

'I missed you.' He said softly.

'I missed you more.' Phil smiled, tapping his finger on Dan's nose lightly.

Dan's father was in the living room reading the paper, he said that Phil had a nice firm handshake and that that was apparently a good thing.

As they ate, Dan's parents inquired a lot about YouTube and Phil tried to explain the best he could with Dan's input.

It wasn't as scary as Phil had feared and his parents were friendly, rather than intimidating but that didn't stop him stumbling over his words and his hands from being clammy.

Going up to bed that night, Phil was glad that he had the night to hold Dan rather than worry about Dan's parents.

'You see, Phil?' Dan said, leaning into Phil's arms as Phil pulled the duvet over them both. 'They loved you.'

Phil sighed in relief and tightened his arms around his boyfriend's waist.

'I love you more.'

'Thank goodness.' Phil smiled, kissing Dan softly.

. . .

4\. Their First Anniversary

. . .

Phil frowned at the mirror again, smoothing his hair and taking a deep breath. It was his and Dan's first anniversary and he wanted it to be perfect.

'Dan?' He called down the hall to the living room.

'Yeah?'

'You ready?'

'I am.'

Phil walked out of his bedroom, Dan was in the hall already, waiting for him.

Walking up to him, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan's waist and kissed him.

'Hello to you too.' Dan smirked.

'Come on then, gorgeous.' Phil replied with a kiss to Dan's cheek.

Phil had booked a table at the same fancy restaurant that they had been to the day that they met and this time around they were talking in ridiculously posh, stuck-up voices and then giggling as they got distasteful looks from the people around them.

Phil could feel butterflies in his stomach, though he was well used to the feeling, having dated Dan for a year.

'Is your food good?' Phil asked. 'Is everything good?'

'Phil,' Dan smiled softly, reaching out his hand across the table to take Phil's. 'Everything is wonderful.'

'I just want everything to be perfect.'

'Everything is.'

Phil nodded with a small smile, still waiting for something to go wrong; they were Dan and Phil after all.

After their meal, they had taken a walk around town, and Phil had stopped off at a flower stall to buy Dan a bouquet of red roses to which Dan had pushed him up against the wall of a building and feverishly kissed him.

'I love you.' Dan said softly, stroking his thumb over Phil's fingers, interlocked with his.

'And I love you.' Phil replied, kissing the tip of Dan's nose.

'I've had a really good time tonight.' Dan said with a smile as they approached Phil's apartment block.

'I'm glad, me too.'

'You're gift I'd in the lounge.' Dan said. 'Go on.' He ushered Phil into the living room and then he saw it.

Sitting on his mantelpiece was a photo of them in a beautiful frame.

He picked it up and ran a thumb over Dan's face; it was a photo of Phil kissing Dan's cheek and they both looked so happy together in it, it was by far his favourite.

'Thank you so much, Dan, I love it.'

'I didn't know what to get you…'

'It's perfect." He wrapped his arms around Dan and they fell onto the sofa laughing and kissing.

. . .

5\. A Picnic After A Fight

. . .

'Phil?' Dan called from the hallway.

'Yeah?' Phil asked cautiously, popping his head around his bedroom door.

'Get your coat, we're going out.' Dan said flatly, opening what was now their front door.

'We are?'

'Yes. Hurry up.'

Phil swallowed thickly and picked up his coat, following Dan out of their apartment.

Dan then called a taxi and they both sat in silence in the back of it as it drove them to wherever Dan had told it to go.

Phil felt like he couldn't breathe.

'McDonalds?' Phil questioned as the taxi stopped outside and Dan tossed some money into the front of the car.

Dan didn't say anything, but went inside and ordered some food to take away and then walked out, not sparing a glance Phil's way, only trusting him to follow.

Neither of them spoke as they walked, tension thick in the air. Dan walked ahead of Phil to a secluded area in the park and Phil followed him to a tree.

'Sit.' Dan requested, sitting down under the tree and opening the bags.

'Dan, what's going on?'

'We're having dinner.' Dan stated like Phil was stupid.

'Here?'

'No, on the moon.'

'Right.'

'Come here' Dan said with a huff, beckoning Phil to move closer to him.

Phil wished that they were back at home.

He didn't say anything, but shuffled closer to Dan so their legs were touching.

'I'm sorry for earlier.' Phil said finally, after they'd eaten.

'Me too.' Dan replied. 'Phil…'

Phil turned to Dan to see he was intently looking at him and biting his lip softly.

Dan pulled their lips together.

'I love you.' Phil said softly.

'I love you too.' Dan replied with a small smile, reconnecting their lips.

. . .

1\. When Phil Was Fearless

. . .

Phil had taken them out to a restaurant, a nice one, one that they felt good enough to be in.

Dan had asked the occasion.

Phil had said the occasion was 'I love you'.

It was raining pretty heavily outside and they had stayed for the longest possible time at their table but the restaurant was about to close and everyone had all but left.

They had stood in the doorway for a few minutes, regretting not bringing an umbrella before they decided to brave it, running out into the rain, fingers interlocked, laughing as the rain splashed onto them.

Phil pulled Dan into the empty car park and held Dan close in his arms.

'Dance with me.' Phil said with a kiss and a lopsided grin.

Dan decided to humour him.

They danced in the empty car park, their clothing soaked as they pulled each other in for twirls and dips and kisses, laughing all the while.

'Dan?' Phil said, holding him close.

'Yeah?' Dan smiled, his breath warm on Phil's face.

'Marry me.' It wasn't even a question because Phil had no doubts whatsoever, no butterflies making him feel sick and he kept his eyes open and locked on Dan to see the wide grin spread across his face.

'Of course, you spork.' He said and Phil laughed, thinking back to when he had asked Dan to be his boyfriend all those years ago, how far they'd come.

Crashing their lips together, the rain came harder but neither of them cared.

'How do you feel?' Phil asked with a smile, kissing Dan again.

'So incredibly happy, my Phil, elated.'

'I feel like I could do anything, like I could climb a mountain or battle a tiger on the back of a lion.'

'Is there a word for that?' Dan laughed.

'I feel fearless.'

Dan laughed again as Phil brought their lips together.


End file.
